The Master and the Assembly of Haji Firouz of the Ahl al-Bayt

When I entered, the leader was watching a clip of Haji Firouz on the computer. He said: 'Look, Alamdar, I have been thinking for several days about what negligence we have committed. In these forty years, we have not created a Haji Firouz with a religious foundation. We have not paid attention to this industry at all. It has remained in the hands of the private sector. This is important both culturally and economically.' He stated: 'The class of Haji Firouz has always been the spokesperson for the enemy. It has been for joy and frivolity, promoting dancing and merrymaking. This work, in addition to financial benefits, has a political aspect with proper management. Look, Alamdar! The Haji Firouz I am talking about must be melted into the leadership, to the point that he drips from it. Then his appearance should be Islamic.' - 'Does that mean his clothes should be green?' - 'No, he should paint his face green. He should wear black clothes. He should let his beard grow. He should put aside the instruments of amusement, like the circle of drumming, and hold chains in his hand. Interestingly, when he strikes his back, it sounds better than the circle of drumming. So, we have a green face, black clothes, chains in hand...' - 'Is that all?' - 'No, not at all. This is just the appearance. His literature remains. The way of addressing should become religious: 'My master, peace be upon you,' should be transformed into 'My Sayyid, or my Imam, peace be upon you,' or 'My Sayyids, peace be upon you.' I said for good service: 'My great one, peace be upon you...' He said: 'No, no, no, forget about personality cult. This cannot be a command. It must be spontaneous. I do not like it when they are forced to address me. After a while, when they call me 'my master' and 'my Sayyid,' if we ignore them a bit, they will gradually find their audience, spontaneously! The leader provided an example: 'My leader, peace be upon you, my leader, the savior of the people, the leader of the leader, his knowledge is extraordinary, the leader is better than the Imam, the leader of the garden of Soroush, yes, he talks nonsense, yes, he is my enemy, yes.' The leader passionately constructed and sang these lines, and I involuntarily started clapping. He said: 'Look! They can read current issues in a way that affects public opinion, and of course, we need to have a group, a think tank, an assembly for the interests of the Haji Firouz of the Ahl al-Bayt, to create poetry and compositions for them. I have said several times in these poetry nights that compositions and songs are good; they have clung to ghazals. They did not listen. Now I have created some preliminary things to start with Haji Firouz. Go brew some tea and bring it so I can tell you.' Ten minutes later, when I arrived with freshly brewed tea, the leader had noted some headings and was reading them to me: (Alamdar! Imagine the sound of chains) 'My master, peace be upon you, my Sayyids, lift your heads, my master, an old friend, lifted you up in petrochemicals, before the judge, yes, is the judge satisfied? Yes, my master, do you hear from me? Hey, do not give the enemy subjects, bring fewer numbers and figures, bring some kind of head and tail.' How is it, Alamdar? ... This way we can guide the courts, the public opinion of Iran and the world. 'My master, you are in work, the power plants in Bushehr are closed, they have not done much enmity, they have not enriched the centrifuges, here I will clap for these herders, there I will clap for those herders, this poor Zarif has so much patience.' You see, Alamdar! The thing is, the Haji Firouz of the government or religion is not just for Nowruz. They should jump into the crowd every week in every city and village after Friday prayers and clap: 'My Sayyid, the Friday Imam, the top is small, the bottom is big...' We obligate from now on that every Friday Imam in his area should train two or three Haji Firouz. 'My master, the martyr of the JCPOA, America will eventually collapse, the country is under sanctions? Yes, the great leader? Yes, against disarmament? Yes, God is generous? Yes.' The leader gradually got excited and caught the rhythm of Haji Firouz, tapping the tea tray with his ring. I just realized they had these things pre-written in a notebook that was in their blessed sleeve. They gradually revealed it. He said: 'Appearance and essence. Many issues can be resolved with the language of Haji Firouz: 'My master, the aware nation has placed the enemy by the wall, Saeed Mortazavi, clap, the strong judge, clap, does he get whipped? No, does he get hot? No, the leader forgave? Yes, the nation is aggrieved? Yes, so the nation is talking nonsense without reason and without cause, they must be silenced, they must keep their mouths shut.' The leader refreshed his throat with two cups of tea: 'My Sayyid, the simple Sayyid, is often greedy, they say we have corruption in the economy, we have embezzlement here, you have cash thieves, there is plundering there, we have a total budget, my master, the long story, the opposition is a rumor maker, blackening? Yes, American? Yes.' This said oil money, that said week by week, to Syria, instead of shouting, you should be proud, who can take this pressure, send here these herders, send there those herders, this poor leader has so much patience. The leader's heart ached a bit for himself. Again, he read from his notebook: 'Bashar, my master, peace be upon you, I will give missiles, hit the people, you hit these herders here, you hit those herders there, Hezbollah Lebanon - they are coming now, Putin is on the way - Qassem is a witness, Qassem has a lot of work, he has shown Zulfiqar...' I said, it is audacious, but expressing matters this way is much better than 'heroic flexibility' and 'the camel in sleep....' It has an effect. Before I finished my sentence, the leader caught the rhythm and spontaneously sang: 'Is the camel asleep? Yes, has it seen a good dream? Yes, was its dream wonderful? Yes, was it a cotton seed? Yes, was the flexibility heroic? Yes!' The leader laughed here, released the tea tray he was holding and went for a nap. I fainted.