An Obsession Named the Female Body

The female body is controlled not only by written and unwritten definitions but also by predetermined decisions regarding its shape, size, and whether it has hair or not. This has become an obsession for some women, who feel judged by every hair on their bodies or by the size of their various body parts. However, another group of women views all this as the imposition of patriarchal values on the female body and opposes these values by refusing to conform to common standards, keeping their body hair, and respecting who they are. They ask why men's body hair is often seen as less undesirable than women's. This week's guests on Taboo are MarMar Moshfeqi, a women's rights activist, and Dr. Maryam Mohabi, a psychologist and author of the book 'Touch and Sexual Awakening'. In this program, we want to discuss the female body and all the obsessions surrounding it. The maintenance of the female body based on a series of predetermined standards has become a more serious obsession for women every day. Let's start with you, Ms. Moshfeqi. Where do you think this obsession comes from and why? MarMar Moshfeqi: Most of these standards have emerged with the expansion of the fashion industry and the growth of media and advertising. A vast amount of this advertising is aimed at selling products. Essentially, they create demand for what they offer. Unfortunately, in most parts of the world, women are a consumer class and are influenced by media and advertising. If they stand against these advertisements, the industry will change because it is shaped by societal demand. Dr. Mohabi, from a sexologist's perspective, where do you think this obsession comes from? Maryam Mohabi: Nowadays, there is much more attention than before, especially among women, on fitness and appearance, and on the other hand, the emphasis that mass media places on appearance and body standards has diminished women's sense of self-worth. Media promotes a fabricated model of women that is causing problems. The first thing that shows a woman in a naked form and as a statue is a woman who is overweight, has prominent breasts, and has a covered face, indicating the sexual attraction that was relevant at that time. What is important now is why the face is covered? Because it was not very important for men at that time what the shape of the face was, but having large breasts and a plump pelvis was very important. This means that the reproductive part, childbirth, and having a large breastfeeding apparatus were significant. From a man's perspective, sexual attraction was a woman who was somewhat overweight and hairless. What we see now is that many women think that sexual attraction should be in thinness, but research from men shows that they actually prefer women who are not too thin. However, the size of breasts, large pelvis, and hairlessness of the body are still factors that have been relevant since the past and are still liked by men. Ms. Moshfeqi, can a type of sexual taste exist among people—if we mean the relationship between men and women? If there is a type of sexual taste and women want to conform to the beauty standards desired by their beloved men, what would a feminist like you say in response to this? Moshfeqi: We have two discussions. One is biological, where the desire for beauty and sexual attraction is innate and instinctive, and the other is that all these desires and beliefs are constructed by society. Personally, I find myself between these two. While I believe that humans have a desire for beauty, and every person has their own definition of beauty—what is considered beautiful in Iran may be different in America—therefore, the desire for beauty and attractiveness is innate. However, which forms of these body beauty ideals we pursue is based on the fashion industry and advertising. If someone enters this choice, they are influenced by these advertisements and have effectively chosen to go down this path. As an activist, I claim the right to raise awareness. Ms. Moshfeqi, are these standards only about women? The fashion industry also promotes specific standards for men. Moshfeqi: I am not saying that it only affects women. It also exists for men, but the impact on women is greater. The perception of body hair in men is not the same as that of women. Dr. Mohabi, if you have any comments on Ms. Moshfeqi's statements, we would love to hear them. Mohabi: In discussing why men have had sexual standards since ancient times and still do, it is due to the evolutionary role embedded in human existence. The goal is the survival of the species. A man looking at a woman's body is waiting to see how old she is. Is she mature or not? What are her sexual attractions? This has been the case since ancient times and is still part of the male gaze seeking a fit woman as a potential good mother, ensuring the survival of his genes. Thus, there is a physiological aspect to this, and women also pursue this. Women seek to be fit and have larger breasts. Larger breasts and pelvis create sexual attraction for men. Here, if you allow me, I want to ask a question. Is all this to ensure that a woman attracts a man's attention? What is the need for a woman to necessarily want to attract a man's attention and create standards that will definitely draw his attention? Mohabi: You asked a very good question. This is the natural model I have described so far, but consider the phenomenon of makeup. Why do women wear makeup? If we consider its underlying evolutionary reasons, there must be a distinguishing feature between men and women. That is, a woman's skin should be lighter than a man's. A man wants to distinguish who is a man and who is a woman. Therefore, women strive to lighten their skin. The distance between the eyes and eyebrows should be open, so they start plucking their eyebrows. They make their lips red. During ovulation and fertility, women have better blood circulation on their skin, making their lips redder. That is why every woman, even post-menopausal, keeps her lips red to signal that she is still young and fertile. My body and face have no hair, while his body is hairy. However, the part that becomes psychological and obsessive is partly a personality disorder, resulting in narcissistic individuals or those who obsessively focus on caring for their bodies and have excessive attention to their size or develop general obsessions. Ms. Moshfeqi, Dr. Mohabi considered your explanations traditional. If you have any comments on this, please feel free to share, and then we can continue our discussion together. Mohabi: No, my approach is not traditional. It is a reality that we are reviewing the history of the birth of sexual attractions. We do not want to say it should be this way. We want to say it has been this way, and ultimately we reach the point where we expect a woman living today to regulate her degree of susceptibility to culture. Women suffering from a weak mental image try to use makeup as a defense mechanism. Dr. Mohabi, is this always the case? Are there women who do not have this problem but still enjoy wearing makeup? Mohabi: Exactly. Some women enjoy it personally. We juxtapose the fabricated and real model. One of these cases is the issue of hair and body cleanliness that women are advised to maintain. An interesting study conducted in Canada in 2010 showed that about 50% of women only clean their underwear and bikini area, and the tool used is often a razor. Only 30% shave the entire genital area. A subsequent study in 2013 showed that 35% of women who shave their entire genital area said they do so only when going for gynecological examinations. I want to say that this is not something most women enjoy due to the format of the genital area and its difficulty. Thus, we conclude that this is something society encourages, and society wants to create dolls out of women, publishing these images. However, many movements have emerged that are changing the standard, asserting that being hairy means beauty. These are new movements we are witnessing, and we are very happy about them. Now, this real model also differs before and after marriage. Before marriage, you have a model for an attractive woman, meaning her hair is this way, her breasts are this way, her clothes are this way, and her body hair is this way. But after marriage, it depends on what your sexual partner's taste is. Does he want your hair to be short or long? His opinion also becomes a condition. We cannot say that I must insist on my standards as a woman, and it is patriarchal for my husband to say that if your hair is short, I think you are more attractive. Ms. Moshfeqi, this obsession that I am old, wrinkled, my body is active, my body is beautiful, my lips are red... do these not happen to men? Don't men age? Don't men always keep their bodies in shape? We see that, for example, even in Persian proverbs, it is not a terrible thing for men to have a belly, but for women, it is a sign that they are now outside the definition of sexual attraction. This might also be worth discussing. Moshfeqi: Look, I say again that when I wrote about body hair on my Instagram, there were two categories of women present. Some who did not care at all about their husbands, and another group whose husbands would refuse to have sexual relations if there was even a little hair on their wife's body or would belittle her if she was overweight. Here we arrive at the point where a woman must undergo various surgeries to appear beautiful and attractive in front of her husband, one of which is the increasingly discussed clitoral surgery, where the vagina is widened, tightened, or the clitoris is reduced. Society has accepted that if a man has a flaw, it is not a problem. We women also have standards for men. The most famous is that most women prefer tall men, and everyone expects men to have a good physique. All of this exists, but it is more accepted. In heterosexual relationships, when a woman and a man want to marry, the bride must lose weight, but the groom does not put in the same effort. It does not matter if the groom is overweight. It does not stand out. But for women, it becomes important. Now, why does it become important? All this advertising, the structure of society, and everything plays a role together. It is not just one issue. Do you think women also have a role in this? This body is going to age anyway. Why do women...