Appropriate Behavior; Iranian Parents and Their Daughter's Sexual Orientation

"Appropriate Behavior" is the title of a film by Desiree Akhavan, an Iranian-American filmmaker, which will be released in the UK on March 5. The film depicts an Iranian girl in America who gifts a dildo to her girlfriend (with whom she is separating) and then walks down the street holding it, an appealing image for Western audiences due to its portrayal of cultural differences and discussions about taboo topics in closed minority families in American society. It seems that Desiree Akhavan has built her character in "Appropriate Behavior" with this in mind: an Iranian-American lesbian named Shirin (played by the filmmaker herself) who separates from her girlfriend, and we follow her sexual and romantic life through various past and present sequences: from meeting another lesbian to the end of the relationship, and her attempts to start a new relationship, including meeting an American woman and man in a bar and joining them for a threesome. While Western audiences have seen various films about same-sex relationships with more explicit dialogues and scenes, they are unlikely to be captivated by such a story. However, the difference in "Appropriate Behavior" lies in the Iranian identity of its main character and the various issues surrounding this narrative, including the fact that this girl must hide her sexual orientation from her Iranian parents. Desiree Akhavan states that she initially intended to make a film about a gay couple in America, but at the suggestion of a producer, she added the Iranian aspect of the character and its various layers to the screenplay and wrote a new version. It seems that the producer's suggestion was beneficial to the extent that this film has gained public screening opportunities apart from participating in several global festivals, despite not having significant visual power or displaying a noteworthy structure: the type of film resembles low-budget television films that often take place in a closed environment and strictly follow conventional stereotypes. Aside from the structure, the characters in the film also remain at the level of clichés. Shirin's character and her inner desires are not explored; we only encounter a girl who stands apart from us and cannot evoke the audience's empathy. Her desires and relationships remain superficial, and her love and separation are narrated in the style of television melodramas. The only difference—besides the Iranian identity of the character—is the film's frankness about discussing sex. The image that the filmmaker creates of Iranians is heavily based on stereotypes. In a significant scene at an Iranian party, Shirin encounters Iranian girls her age, who appear extremely rude and superficial. Shirin's parents are also created based on these same stereotypes, and the comedic situations in the film do not help in understanding these characters and instead create a caricatured image of these parents. It seems that Akhavan, who was born and raised in America, judges Iranians based on stereotypes. However, she herself comments on audience reactions: "I don't think those audiences who have a closed mind will feel good about my film. They don't want to talk about it. I'm sure the film will receive a lot of negative reactions, but I don't want to listen to them. I don't even know the words to discuss homosexuality in Persian; my Persian is limited to talking with my parents, and we have never had discussions on these topics." "Appropriate Behavior" speaks about Iranians who have been away from Iran for years. I ask her why she thinks people like Shirin's parents, who have lived in America for decades, are still unwilling to accept the truth about their daughter: "They bring their rules with them. If your parents grew up thinking something is negative, they will think that way for the rest of their lives. Even though I grew up as an American, I was raised with Iranian values and culture, and these things enter your heart." The screenplay of "Appropriate Behavior" could have been a more serious screenplay if it had not succumbed to the market's demand to rely solely on boldness and strangeness and instead had delved into the character and world of a woman, or if the filmmaker's concern was to show the mismatch of this girl's behavior with her Iranian family, she should have focused on a more precise portrayal of Shirin's relationship with her parents and avoided common clichés. Akhavan seems to have considered the second option regarding her character's narrative: "When talking about this gay character, it is important to consider which part to choose: to be selfish and do what you want or to be mindful of your family and their desires, which is not very American."