Efforts to Prevent the Employment of a Six-Fingered Manager

I dreamt that I had been appointed as the executor of the law prohibiting the employment of retirees. I was overjoyed to have obtained such an important position and was sure that after fulfilling my duties in this regard, my name would be remembered fondly in history. I could even imagine that due to my worthy services, several highways and squares would be named after me in various cities across the country, and in addresses, people would enter from the martyr Khwab-Navis and after enduring heavy traffic, travel the route from north to south until the end of Khwab-Navis. I could even see the day when my child would be named after Khwab-Navis. I woke from the dream I was experiencing and rolled up my sleeves, determined to take the first firm step towards implementing this law when my eyes fell on the first clause of the law. It stated: 'Ministers, members of parliament, governors, deputy ministers, deputy governors, ambassadors, and managers of institutions under the supervision of the Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic are exempt from this law.' A strange feeling came over me. I tried to count with my fingers and toes to see who would remain for me to dismiss based on this law. I counted until I reached Mr. Ghadiri, my elementary school principal, who happened to have six fingers on his right hand and had left several marks of his six-fingered hand on my face with a strong slap. He had a long beard and a peculiar expertise in punishing dear students with a hose and stick in a way that they would survive, and honestly, he was considerate in that regard. In the afternoons, he would perform ablution for prayer quietly and go stand in front of the prayer leader, and since at that time, prayer in school was mandatory like hijab, everyone had to stand behind him for prayer. The peak of our civil resistance against him was that we would invalidate our ablution with a push before the prayer began so that the smell of rosewater would be neutralized and it would also be a strong punch to Ghadiri's sensitive positions. Later, a few diligent students were assigned to walk between the rows during prayer and note the names of the students who were under pressure. Therefore, I had enough motivation to approach him and dismiss him based on the law prohibiting the employment of retirees, as he must have been as old as Geppetto by now. I went to him. By God's permission, he had even become younger. I tried to give him a scary smile and announced to him through a decree that according to the law, he must now go plant cucumbers in his yard. He gave me a smile and said more frighteningly: 'According to that law, I am a veteran with over 50% disability and exempt.' I took another look at the law. He was right. It stated: 'Those with permission from the Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic, children of individuals killed in the Iran-Iraq war, prisoners of this war with over three years of captivity, and veterans with over fifty percent disability are exempt from this law.' But he was healthy. It seemed he understood what I was thinking and showed me his right hand. To my astonishment, I saw that he had five fingers. I said: 'Where is the sixth one?' He choked up and said: 'I was a defender of the shrine. I got caught by ISIS. They took my sixth finger.' I wanted to ask why they only cut off a finger when there were so many places to cut, but I said: 'But losing one finger, especially an extra one, doesn't make you 50% disabled!' He showed me a plaque that deeply affected me. It read: 'Imam Khamenei: Ghadiri's extra finger was a part of me.' He said: 'Based on this statement from the leader, they counted only that finger as 70% for me,' and he cried profusely and kissed the plaque. I was at a loss for words. Suddenly, I saw that Ghadiri's crying had stopped, and he was looking at me with anger. He shouted: 'Calf! Hurry up and wet your hands, come here!' and took out his famous hose from his desk drawer. Moments later, I didn't know whether I was wetting my hands or myself when I woke up screaming 'O retiree of all retirees!'