He Said Our People Like to Insult the Leadership!

Today, the leader was talking about the flood news. He asked if anyone among the officials had been taken by the flood. I replied that maybe one or two of them had been taken to Canada. The leader did not appreciate my joke. He said never joke about serious and bitter issues of the country. He himself had opened the topic of joking. I apologized, saying my own relatives were also affected by the recent flood damages. Without paying attention to my words, he said, 'Look, Vahid, this is no joke. The news of embezzlers fleeing to Canada is a serious national issue. It is bitter in the sense that it is a very cold place. I sometimes worry that Khavari might catch a cold.' Then, looking into the distance, he said, 'In any case, I am not going to Syria. I mean after the downfall. I used to be oblivious to the future, I had no foresight, otherwise, after the 2009 sedition, I would have said to take Mir Hossein to Golestan Province and put him under house arrest in Aq Qala.' I said, 'Sir, isn't Syria also not good for a rainy day?' He replied, 'Not as long as Bashar is there. He wants to come and visit me every day, check on me, and his photo is spread everywhere. But did you see how much taller he is than me? I can't control it there to tell them to make me taller in all the photos.' I said, 'They had edited the photo of your meeting with Bashar well.' He said, 'Between us, I had told them. Did they dare to edit the photo without my permission? Of course, I had said to stretch my neck a bit, but it seems their Photoshop wasn't working well. However, I told them to deal harshly with the photographer. Under torture, he confessed that my height is taller than Bashar's.' I said, 'Sir, regarding the flood, do you know that the IRGC unnecessarily blew up part of the railway in Aq Qala?' He said their action was wrong and fruitless, but it was necessary. 'Why was it necessary, sir?' 'I ordered it myself. For practice. They need to learn how to destroy the railways of Israeli cities in the future. We must use every opportunity for practice and readiness. Look, Vahid, tomorrow if the Islamic Republic falls, God forbid, we will not give up. If necessary, we will attack Israel from Toronto. The issue has now become a matter of face-saving. To hell with the Palestinian people, I have promised Judge Mortazavi. We are getting ready. Right now, Khavari is learning Hebrew in Canada.' Continuing the flood discussion, he said, 'Tell them to deal severely with the Friday prayer leader of Shiraz. That guy went to visit the flood-affected areas and then told the news agencies that he received a lot of insults from the people. Tell him he is wrong to think he received insults. Who are you to receive insults? Even if people insult you, they mean me. Therefore, such a statement should not have been made. Now everyone understands that the flood-affected people of Shiraz have indirectly insulted me a lot, and this guy has taken it upon himself, of course.' To make the leader happy, I used one of his famous proverbs. I said, 'The camel dreams of cotton seeds.' He said, 'This guy is a 'camel by choice.' His camels also have cotton seeds by choice. He says whatever he wants. But, our people also like to insult the leadership. This is a national trait, and it doesn't get fixed.' Then the leader inverted the issue for his own consolation: 'Maybe when they insult me, they mean the Friday prayer leader of Shiraz.' He asked me about my New Year's message, where I named the year 98 as the 'Year of Production Boom,' what I had heard. I replied that it had a good effect, although the jurists of the Guardian Council and the Assembly of Experts, due to hearing problems and old age, mistakenly interpreted 'Year of Production Boom' as 'Year of Oil Production,' and it is likely that by the end of the year we will face an accumulation of produced oils. He said it doesn't matter. I asked, 'Shall we send it to Syria?' He replied, 'No, we send things to Syria that we ourselves are short of, otherwise, it would hurt Bashar's feelings.'