He Said When There Are No Gatherings, It Worries Me!

In the memories of Vahid al-Azma, the standard-bearer of the Leader (15) on Tuesday, the Leader was in a good mood today. He asked the standard-bearer about the gatherings, protests, and demonstrations. I replied that unfortunately, there are a couple of demonstrations happening here and there. He asked, 'Why unfortunately? Haven't you gotten used to it yet?' He continued, 'Honestly, in the beginning, I was worried about the protests and gatherings.' I asked, 'Are you not worried anymore?' He laughed and said, 'Now when there are none, it worries me!' He mentioned that in the beginning, he thought something significant would happen, that these gatherings would somehow connect and create a commotion. But now he feels numb, as it has become routine. Sometimes, when there are a few days without news, he gets anxious and thinks maybe they should consider organizing a demonstration themselves. He stated: 'Fortunately, these disturbances and gatherings lack leadership and centrality. Everyone is shouting in groups, and it ends there; they do not connect. Occasionally, there are voices from abroad that confuse the people, and they do not know their position. This is good. It is beneficial.' I asked, 'What should we do?' He replied, 'Nothing should be done; for now, every gathering will dry up and fall apart!' On Wednesday, it was announced that they want to gain some weight. He said, 'Did you see that Trump couldn't handle Kim Jong-un? Because Kim Jong-un is quite hefty. Of course, Trump is also big, but Kim is full. I asked Dr. Velayati, most of Trump's weight is just air... Kim also called yesterday saying we hit! I said thank you... I told him you and Bashar are like my sons. Mojtaba was here and didn't like it, but Meysam, he was here and enjoyed it a lot... Kim said Trump wanted to outsmart us. I said, 'A camel dreams of cotton seeds.' Anyway, I think it wouldn't be bad for me to gain some weight. On Thursday, the Leader summoned me and said, 'Vahid, come and fix it... I don't know how this deceased translator translated my words for Kim Jong-un that it is ruining our relations with North Korea... Apparently, the main issue is with that famous phrase of mine that I always say, but it seems the North Koreans either do not have a camel at all or they do not understand the proverb about the camel. I don't know if 'A camel dreams of cotton seeds' was translated from the first person to the second person or from the first person to the third person for the second person to say. For now, I said to take the third person and interrogate them to ensure they are not an American spy. It turned out they had written their name in the green card lottery; for now, they are in solitary confinement.' I said, 'Forgive me, I always thought the third person was just in grammar. I had never heard of it in solitary confinement!' He said, 'I mean the translator, who seems to have mixed up attributes and nouns and predicates. Unfortunately, we only had this one Korean translator here. Since his wife is Korean, he has learned a few things. Now it has been decided that once his solitary confinement is over, we will send him to Pyongyang, and the North Koreans will extract the correct translation from him under torture. On Friday, the Leader continued the discussion about grammar and taught me a bit of Persian grammar... He said, 'Standard-bearer, sometimes you speak like the late Imam, mixing up pronouns. I have read these; I have memorized them. When we proposed for the daughter of Hadad Adel to the son of Mojtaba, I tested the father of the bride on conjugation and syntax; he failed three times. May dirt be upon them with this academy he heads... (The Leader opened up about his feelings)... At the first assembly of Persian language professors, I said let’s tell 'radio' to say 'radiyan,' which is more Persian, or let’s say 'television' as 'telewizan,' which is a Persian norm. They didn't even understand the meaning of norm. As Zarghami said, it was as if I was talking to a plate. They didn't listen. We have become a stone on ice here... You know, Standard-bearer, since that date until now, how much these two words have been incorrectly used in the media and have pleased the enemy? It was December 16, 1995, our 14th of Sha'ban, 23 years and one month ago. Now you go calculate its waste... I care about this country. I pay attention to everything. Meanwhile, this servant of God, the tanner, says, 'Ha, Imam Khomeini was the most literate, the most literate leader Iran has ever had.' Nonsense. I am certain, I am certain that any day now, a literate and book-reading person from London, from London, will answer this guy. (When the Leader gets angry, he repeats words.) With thick anger, he said: 'Someone even wrote that Khamenei himself has never used these words. The fool thought I said these for personal use, personal use. I never wanted to exploit my leadership or force my words onto the throne. Otherwise, I could have told Karroubi to pass this as a government decree, a government decree from the parliament, and anyone who said radio or television would be charged with insulting the leadership and acting against territorial integrity and relations with America and Israel, let them light up their pipe... Go bring me that pipe so I can take a puff.' While I was lighting their pipe, he said: 'If you are writing in your memories, Karroubi was not the Speaker of the Parliament at that time.' On Saturday, the recent statements of the Leader regarding managers that they should put aside impatience and laziness have not had a good reaction among the people, and generally, they are worried that if managers come with patience and do not become lazy, there will be nothing left of the country! Of course, for some parts of their statements, I had a few phone messages that I conveyed to them. Here I write: -------------------- The Leader said: 'Imam Ja'far Sadiq (peace be upon him) says that a person who is under pressure from urine and the like has no opinion at all. That is why it is also disliked to pray under pressure because a person's attention is not focused.' Rahim Mashaei called from prison and sent a message: 'I am at your service, greetings. Please convey my regards to the Leader and tell him they are torturing me in prison and pressuring me to pray. I have told them a hundred times that we were once in this business and that Imam Sadiq said one cannot pray under pressure, but they still torture me.' I conveyed the message to the Leader; he was pleased with the greeting but became angry about the torture issue and frowned, saying: 'Torture, torture. They have gone too far! These people in prison do not stop with rumors and black propaganda. Torture is only for political prisoners and Bahais. No one is free to torture this little one. Mr. Alam al-Huda also liked this part of the Leader's statements. He called: - 'Hello, can you hear me! Leader, please tell Vahid to convey my regards. They have made me comfortable because with my current situation, the pressure from urine was constantly distracting me during prayer, and from 'Iyyaka na'budu' to the end of 'Iyyaka nasta'een,' I was running after this prostate doctor to give him a couple of slaps around 'Hayya 'ala khayril 'amal'... The Leader laughed. -------------------- The Leader said: 'Some people think that joy means dancing, that we should put this music program or that program somewhere in the theater or put it on television so that people feel joy!' Jannati - Hello, tell the Leader I remember when they first changed the name of brothels to theaters, thinking we wouldn't understand. Now they say theater, but we still understand. Larijani (the other one) - Tell them that until we execute a few first-class and renowned musicians, it will keep turning on this heel. Alam al-Huda - Hello, can you hear me? They say that worse than dancing and music and theater is figure skating and trumpet. The Leader laughed. (Of course, I didn't convey this part to the Leader where he said: 'Thank God, the Leader has reached my words.') -------------------- The Leader described the people's reception of the anniversary of the revolution: 'Forty years have passed since the great movement of this nation and the great Imam, but it seems like it happened just yesterday! It is still alive, the same large crowd, and the slogans have not changed.' An eyewitness called to confirm the Leader's statements: 'The Leader is right. People were chanting the same slogans from forty years ago. They were divided into three groups, coordinating and taking turns. Two groups energetically on the sidewalks, and one lazy group in the middle of the street. On the northern sidewalk, they shouted 'Independence, Freedom,' then in the middle of the street, they chanted, and then from the southern sidewalk, the response came: 'Islamic Republic.' I asked what the middle group's slogan was? He said they only said: 'From!' Hadi Kharsandi Hadi Kharsandi is a prominent Iranian writer, poet, and satirist residing in London. He has shared his writings with Iranian audiences and Persian speakers for years, presenting satirical pieces in the form of weekly letters to Radio Farda listeners. Membership In this context, he said: 'I am not an athlete, but I love the salt shaker.' The Leader's farewell to his neighbors: 'Mehdi come, Mehdi come, may Iran not become Venezuela.'