I Want to Be a 'Groom'

I dreamed I was at a matchmaking party. I tried hard to figure out who the suitor was by subtly overthrowing the people present, but none of them resembled suitors. I quietly asked a man next to me, who didn't look like a suitor, 'Excuse me, who has come to propose?' He looked at me and laughed heartily. I muttered, 'Ha ha ha! Watermelon!' He suppressed his laughter and said, 'It's really good to have a funny groom in this day and age.' Then he whispered in my ear, 'You have melons under your armpits!' I said, 'Really?!' and tried to check under my armpit, which made him laugh again and say, 'IQ! I answered your watermelon question.' He started peeling an orange and continued, 'So what does our groom do for a living?' It was a good question that I thought all suitors should have a good answer for in such gatherings. I was waiting for the suitor to answer when I realized everyone was looking at me. I just understood I was the suitor. I stammered a bit and said, 'I'm dreaming.' The man who seemed to be the father of the bride laughed heartily again and then suddenly became serious and asked, 'What is your job, sir?' I said, 'I swear to God, I'm dreaming.' He threw his orange into the fruit bowl, took my hand, and dragged me along, saying, 'I want to talk privately with my future groom for a few moments.' A few moments later, we were in the bedroom. I said nervously, 'God willing, I hope to come into the bedroom with your daughter.' He said, 'Shut up, stop babbling. Look, I don't have the patience, what is your job?' I said, 'I swear, I'm just dreaming. I came to be your groom so you can find me a proper job.' He turned blue with anger. I said, 'But it's the custom now. These days, all officials find jobs for their sons-in-law. What about you?' He shouted, 'All officials are messing with you. You and the officials and you and messing!' I was affected by the fact that in my dream, I was subjected to such indecent words. At that moment, the father of the bride, by God's permission, turned into Mr. Hassan Shamaizadeh and sang: 'The king comes with his army, princes around him, for his younger son, should I give or not...' I said, 'If you want to give, give; if not, I don't want a wife, I want a job, do you understand? What do you have, Hassan, for a deputy minister?' As soon as I said Hassan, Hassan Shamaizadeh, by God's permission, turned into Hassan Rouhani and said, 'I have a deputy minister position that until yesterday belonged to my son-in-law, now he has resigned, it's yours.' I said, 'Thank you. Can't I be a groom but become a deputy minister?' He pinched my cheek and turned into Salome and said, 'You messed up! Everything is everything here.' I said, 'Oh? Then, with your permission, I will take a round and come back.' And I started to circle around. I probably circled too much because in the morning, while wrapped in a blanket and checking if I had melons under my armpits or not, I woke up in the bathroom. In this context, with Saadi describing the bikini of the king's wife, with Andy and money laundering cars, circumventing sanctions with dancing in Friday prayers, Halloween in the Hosseiniyeh, tomorrow's station with Farshid Manafi, paradox with Kambez Hosseini, and justifying issues with Jalal Saidi.