Is a Woman the 'Honor' of a Man and is Jealousy Necessary for Manhood?

In the patriarchal culture, largely derived from religion, a woman is considered a man's honor. A man must protect his honor, meaning he must be jealous. In this culture, gendered insults or so-called 'honor-related' slurs are directed at a man's wife, sister, mother, and other female family members. It is within this culture that honor killings are reported, and where men's sensitivity regarding a woman's body, behavior, and even emotions is all related to the man and his jealousy, while a man is legally allowed to have four simultaneous marriages. Men's sensitivity is termed jealousy, while women's sensitivity is called envy. This week, we challenge this culture in the program 'Taboo' with the presence of Mojtaba Amini, an Islamic studies researcher, and Mahbubeh Abbasgholizadeh, a women's rights activist. We begin this week's discussion with Mr. Amini. Mr. Amini, we want to talk about two concepts that seem difficult to discuss without each other. Let's start with jealousy. What is your definition of jealousy? Mojtaba Amini: Regarding jealousy, it is an innate matter, but it relates to the interactions that arise within a person. When we trace its roots, we realize that jealousy or the reaction to honor is an innate issue, meaning it exists in every human being. However, the way people react to this issue varies based on their understanding and awareness. The laws in each country address it differently. These must be separated one by one. Very well, Ms. Abbasgholizadeh, the point Mr. Amini raises, and I think we can continue our discussion from this point, is that jealousy is innate and exists in all types of humans. I want to know what you think about this? Mahbubeh Abbasgholizadeh: No, I do not agree that jealousy, as a reaction to honor, is an innate matter. In other words, jealousy is not an innate issue at all. The first thing that can refute this is that we do not see men being jealous in all [types] of humanity and in all societies, so it seems to me that this is an acquired matter. As a phenomenon that strongly supports women sexually and is even willing to fight for it. Now, as Mr. Amini says, there are different actions. Sometimes it is to keep a woman covered with a chador or to prevent her from leaving the house. Or that in response to another man assaulting her, he wants to fight that man or even sometimes commit an honor killing in defense of family honor. Another example is jealousy towards the homeland, where we see many soldiers or Basijis are incited to defend their country if they have jealousy or to go to Syria, for instance, to defend Islam. This jealousy, which has various manifestations, is something we construct and define in society. I think it is a cultural and religious matter that is clearly related to patriarchy. It is worth mentioning that in religious narratives and hadiths, we see many points about jealousy that have been praised. In fact, the transformative state of a man regarding what happens to his 'honor' is praised. How much do you think a characteristic like jealousy can relate to this religious culture and what has come to us as religion? Mojtaba Amini: The issue of jealousy or reaction to honor is an innate matter, meaning it exists in every human being. However, the way people deal with this issue varies based on their understanding and awareness. This force exists in everyone, and anyone can misuse it and exacerbate it. It is like a double-edged sword. As I mentioned, innate does not mean that we refer to it in the same way everywhere and want to compare everyone based on a specific criterion. This force exists in everyone, and anyone can misuse it and exacerbate it. It is like a double-edged sword. For example, individual jealousy, collective jealousy... Abbasgholizadeh: Can I ask when you say jealousy, what exactly do you mean? Amini: Jealousy refers to the reactive change that arises in every human based on their interests. For example, if a person sees an interest regarding their honor, their jealousy flares up, and they show a reaction. Suppose someone acts traditionally and considers a series of traditional laws for themselves and says, well, according to the tradition I believe in, my duty is to react. They may even think that if they see someone alone with their wife in a room, they can kill them and consider themselves justified. These issues arise from a traditional and specific religious thought, whether it is Jewish, Christian, or Muslim. There are also times when individuals are guided by their reason and are part of advanced societies. Many people might now ask you on what basis a woman should be considered a man's honor and then give that limiting power, as Ms. Abbasgholizadeh said, based on a power relationship to the man to impose such a feeling on her. The question is here. Amini: Islam mandates enjoining good and forbidding wrong in three cases. One is when someone's life is in danger, one is when someone's property is in danger, and one is when someone's honor is in danger. Here, even if there is a third party and they see these things, they are advised to prevent it, let alone someone who owns these interests, meaning someone's life, property, or honor is in danger. This is from the traditional religious perspective. In these three cases, it becomes obligatory for individuals. If you want to look at the issue of honor from a religious perspective, jealousy and appropriate reaction should be shown towards it. Ms. Abbasgholizadeh, perhaps you want to answer this question: why is a woman referred to as honor that jealousy should exist regarding her? Abbasgholizadeh: Well, the phenomenon of honor or honor-cultivation is again a relative phenomenon that is more seen in patriarchal societies, especially in the Middle East. In societies where Abrahamic religions are stronger, we see that the issue of honor is also very strong. But for example, you do not see this in Asian countries. You do not see it in Africa. You do not see it in Latin America. Dignity and protection of family and environment are a human thing and are referenced everywhere, and all people consider dignity as a very good trait, and we can see it in all humans in relation to it, or for example, envy exists in all people. The sense of protection exists in all people. But when we come and place dignity and envy and protection on each other, this is done by culture and religion, and for example, it comes and says you now have a beautiful sexy woman, a man is looking at her, and yes, you feel jealous. On one hand, you feel like you want to help this woman because that man is looking at her badly, and on the other hand, you feel like he is encroaching on your territory, that territory of the relationship you have with this woman and the territory of the relationship is not equal but rather a relationship of ownership. When the relationship of ownership is combined with the relationship of jealousy and the relationship of dignity, it creates something called jealousy and turns that subject into honor. Jealousy is a foundation of human traits that we construct in the power relationship to be able to defend that subject that is 'honor'. Mr. Amini, I have this question for you. Because you believe that jealousy is innate in humans, I want to ask you how you see this regarding women? Do all human beings, both women and men, possess this jealousy that you believe is innate? If so, why do we always see in religious narratives that men’s jealousy is discussed? Amini: It is not like that. In fact, it has been said in many places that women are more jealous than men. You see, jealousy has a place. Whether we categorize individual jealousy or collective jealousy, both relate to collective interests. Where does this interest come from? From a place where, suppose you enter into a contract with someone in trade or anything. You are looking for profit. Marriage or when you choose an honor and spouse for yourself - whether woman or man - this actually means you are looking for a profit. It is true that in one sense it resembles trading and is like other trades, but in another sense, emotional aspects are intertwined with it, so when someone wants to disrupt your personal interests, whether they want to take your man or take your woman or want to have possessions, this inevitably causes your jealousy to flare up and creates a reaction that our discussion started from here. The religion of Islam, from the very beginning it came, has actually created a revolution in the most ignorant tribe of humanity that existed at that time, and its first confrontation was about this very issue with women and gave them rights [because they were even viewed as inheritance]. But every religion that comes brings with it deviant lines. Those who later want to explain these issues lead them to deviation. We should not mix what is the essence of a matter with deviant lines. Women, based on how they think - if you pay a little more attention, you will understand my point - women are more dependent on their hearing than their mental thinking. That is, as soon as they hear something, they react emotionally. Because when we say generally in different societies, it is not just educated women or men... Abbasgholizadeh: The phenomenon of honor or honor-cultivation is a relative phenomenon that is more seen in patriarchal societies, especially in the Middle East. In societies where Abrahamic religions are stronger, we see that the issue of honor is also very strong. But for example, you do not see this in Asian countries. You do not see it in Africa. Abbasgholizadeh: It is very insulting that you are saying this. That is why I could not remain silent... Amini: No, you did not understand my point. I have not fully explained yet. I am saying that the roots of a woman's jealousy can be envy. The issue of envy differs from the issue of coveting. Women's reactions are quicker and more jealous and reactive than men's reactions. Why? Because women, from the root - I apologize for saying this - but from the root, they perceive envy more than coveting... Excuse me, let me ask you this question. If I want to summarize your speech, it is that regarding women, if there is jealousy at play and you believe that even women are more jealous; the root of this jealousy is envy, but in the case of men, what is the root then? Amini: No, no, I did not say the root is envy. I said it can be more, but for example, you see places where women's jealousy creates such courage in them that it does not create in men. Many times even in political and social confrontations. If we say in the case of envy, their sense of jealousy flares up more and shows itself. Women react faster because they have more feelings, and their sixth sense is stronger. That is why they act faster. We do not say that everywhere envy is the main root of their jealousy. Their sixth sense can be stronger. Do you understand? Abbasgholizadeh: What you are saying; excuse me, all of this is superstition and has no scientific basis and is entirely based on very traditional superstitions that I cannot even place a religious basis for based on studies I have done about religion, especially Islam. Where are you saying this? All wars have been started by men. Where has a woman been involved? The jealousies that have occurred in the world over power have been carried out by men. All the corruption in the world that has been done in the name of jealousy, all the killings that have been done in the name of honor have been done by men. This ultimately leads to the conclusion that women do not use their intellect properly. Women are very emotional and sensitive. Women are superficial. Therefore, one cannot rely on women. Women do not know their interests. Because, as you say, they use a sixth sense that we do not know what it is, and as a result, that jealousy that comes from men is based on their intellect, not their feelings.