On the Brink of Disturbing Concerns, Payam Fazli Nejad's Website - 2003-07-29

On the brink of these disturbing concerns, Payam Fazli Nejad's website - 2003-07-29. With cinematic content, an interview with Mahmoud Dowlatabadi, I have cursed the wrong signals in all my moments of solitude and have only brought my complaints before my deity and purpose. They have made it so that I have found it hard to speak and write. It is hard to see, but not to write. It is hard to hear, but not to speak. Believe me, it is hard. The times that have passed are filled with unspeakable sorrows for me. So unspeakable and soul-crushing that I sometimes refrain from even mentioning them with allusion and hint. At a time when I was freely and passionately writing, not just for the sake of writing, but to express what is a contribution to research for today's restless generation, a generation in which I find meaning and foundation, I never imagined that what would come the next day, a dark and oppressive tomorrow, would easily crush all that we had achieved through years of effort and exploration into the hidden realms and throw it into the trash bin of my mind and psyche. It is hard to see, but not to write, and to hear, but not to speak. Believe me, it is hard. How unbelievable that everything that was motivating and obligatory for us, everything that was a source of concern and life, has taken on the name of betrayal, and we, like someone who is truly mourning, sat by the bedside of the dying and merely observed it. There is a cost to speaking openly about it, and I only share this closed and unfortunate statement with those who are aware of the sufferings we endure and do not speak of the burden of their grief.