On the Night of Chilla

In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. On Friday morning, I went to the house. They had a stomach ache. They said that the night of Chilla and Yalda is just one of those things. Imam Khomeini was right that we did not revolt for melons, but last night they fed us so much melon along with the nuts that I have a heavy stomach. They complained that in their opinion, nuts do not go well with fruit, unlike a camel with cotton seeds! From next year, we must ban nuts for the night of Chilla. Only two types of fruit. Anyone who wants more must obtain permission in advance, otherwise, there will be severe consequences. Regarding the discomfort of the non-stomach issue, there was an article they had read on a website about the abolition of the Guardianship of the Islamic Jurist. They were very angry. They said: 'Now I am nothing, I don't care. As our President Khatami said, the leadership has been wronged. Well, it has been wronged, but what will happen to the future of Mojtaba? If the Guardianship of the Islamic Jurist disappears, what will they say about Mojtaba? They are unaware of how much this boy has served this revolution. Bit by bit, his life, millimeter by millimeter, his body has been in the service of the revolution.' (Then with regret, they said:) 'What a pity we circumcised him.' They said, 'Look, Wahid, a good child is very good, especially in the service of the revolution. There is no difference between a daughter and a son; a child must be good, not that he becomes a cyclist and goes to take pictures at the grave of the Shah, but one foot in Syria and one foot in Lebanon, and his picture is nowhere to be found. Look at these world politicians, none of them have children; woe to them. That Emmanuel Macron of France, who has faced so many disasters, has no children. That Angela Merkel, who could not stay, is barren. That Paolo Gentiloni, the Prime Minister of Italy, lost the elections a few months ago because he had no children. Now see what will happen soon to Mark Rutte, the Prime Minister of the Netherlands, Stefan Löfven, the Prime Minister of Sweden, Xavier Bettel, the Prime Minister of Luxembourg, and Nicola Sturgeon, the Prime Minister of Scotland, and Jean-Claude Juncker, the President of the European Commission, all of whom have no children.' Then they said: 'This lady Theresa May... (all were 'that', this one became 'this'!) She, who was born under Brexit, is barren, without Mojtaba.' I said, 'Mashallah, you have a file on all of them.' They said, 'When I say go Google at night, you don't listen.' Regarding the Baha'i student girl who was expelled from Sharif University and became the second woman in a physics field in America, they were very upset. They said, 'This is a disgrace for us, for Islam and Muslims. This girl, who was intelligent and talented, why should she be expelled from the university because of being a Baha'i? They should have somehow converted her to Islam. Then when they saw she wouldn't convert, at least they should have banned her from leaving so she wouldn't go abroad to receive awards. Or they could have torn her documents so she would have to start from the first grade in America.' Then they muttered with anger: 'Now, God forbid, in that world, their Baha'u'llah will recite something to our Prophet.' They said, 'You see this brigadier who has somehow disappeared. This thing... I said, 'Brigadier General Qodratollah Mansouri, commander of the 17th Imam Ali Army Corps of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps...' They said, 'Enough! That's it. They have combined these titles and ranks in such a way that people think seven or eight people have been killed. Especially since it has the name Imam in it. Now, it would be good if they don't relate it to the Imam coin. This 700 kilograms of heroin they have tied to him is enough. You calculate it, at 15 million tomans per kilogram, it amounts to about 10 billion tomans. If it reaches the consumer at 20 thousand tomans per gram, you tell me if smoke rises from the grave of Ashraf Pahlavi or not? Now they say he took a heroin transit caravan. God curse Ahmadinejad for exposing our smuggler brothers. On the other hand, there are a thousand rumors about his death. One says he committed suicide, another says he was killed, one says he had cancer and died in the hospital, another says he was cleaning his weapon in the operating room and a bullet went into his head! One says no, they were taking him to the hospital by ambulance, and on the way, he said to hold on, let me clean my weapon, another says influenced by the leadership's 'fire at will,' he wanted to serve well, another says the heroin mafia... In short, these things make a person repent. I have said a hundred times to unify your statements beforehand. One says he passed away, another says he died, one says he had an accident, another says he became a martyr, all of them are official announcements from institutions. Tomorrow they might say he is missing. Everyone is stretching it this way. One said he had a long illness, chemotherapy had no effect, he killed himself naturally on his bed behind his desk in the hospital. In the end, I fear they will say the Supreme Leader pushed him into the pool. I said the announcement from the Ground Forces of the IRGC says he has joined Allah. They said, 'Go ahead, joining Allah should be for the announcement of the seminary, the army should not say joining Allah unless they were killed on the front. Joining Allah does not accept someone from behind a desk. They said, 'Now whatever program there was, the timing was well chosen that the news of the death of that young hunger striker in Qom prison went into the hands of oblivion, but we must have a proper plan for announcing the death of the general of the dead so that it is not so loose. People might talk! They said, 'Now what good news do you have?' I said the joyful news is that the rumor of the fall of several Hezbollah brothers who were bringing clouds to the ground has been denied. It turned out that by God's grace, at the last moments, their parachutes opened and they landed safely. Only because they didn't have pants on, the Ground Forces provided the necessary cooperation and before the villagers attacked, they delivered some blankets to them.