Putin's Wedding: May It Be Blessed...

I arrived early in the morning to see the Leader. He was in very good spirits for two reasons: one was the execution of Sultan Qir, and the other was that Putin said he wants to get married. He expressed happiness that this Vladimir also wants to settle down. I was very worried about him... I hope he finds a beautiful girl, prettier than this Melania. Then he said with anger: We need to reduce this Trump! ... Of course, this Melania also looks beautiful because she puts on so much makeup and Christian Dior. If she washes her face, she is just like our own Elham Charkhandeh. He said to tell the foreign minister to write a letter to Putin inviting him to come to Qom for his honeymoon after he got married... Then, with annoyance and mockery, he said, 'Now if I want to give a piece of land in the middle of the Caspian Sea as a congratulatory gift to Putin, the children of Cyrus and the grandchildren of Darius and the sisters of Mandana and the cousins of Xerxes will raise their voices saying the country is ruined. It’s as if they want to go swim in the middle!' Then the Leader regained his composure: 'It’s okay, on the wedding day we will give them a little more land for nuclear waste. May they grow old together, God willing.' Regarding the execution of Sultan Qir, he said, 'These people kill themselves. They make arrangements with one or two people in the government; they insure themselves, for example. When the day comes that they get caught, they kill themselves and say, here you go! (with a gesture). Their insurance is worthless. They don’t even give a notice and don’t intervene. They do intervene, of course, but to expedite the execution of the person so they can get rid of them! Don’t think I don’t understand these things, but I can’t do anything. If I speak, I owe something too! All our work has become hostage-taking and letting go until I let go.' At this point, the Leader remembered something. He said: 'I have mentioned several times in poetry nights that these committed poets should create songs that impact society, that people can sing. Now I thought of creating a song and music for Mr. Putin's wedding and sending it to be performed by the IRGC music in Moscow. Something like (tapping his fingers gently on the table) 'Putin's wedding, may it be blessed... the Kremlin celebration, may it be blessed... the bride is so beautiful; may it be blessed... better than Melania; may it be blessed...' To please the Leader, I spoke a little ill of Melania. He said he heard Mohsen Rezaei has also said some things. I replied yes, he said, 'Trump wants to create the groundwork for regime change.' The Leader did not like it. He said, 'Groundwork? Groundwork for change? This Rezaei seems to not understand the meaning of groundwork. Groundwork is not for changing; it is for arranging! I said, but sir, he made a good point that cultural struggle can prevent surrender and regime change. The Leader shook his head and said: 'Oh, the Secretary of the Expediency Discernment Council also talks about surrender and regime change. As the Mashhadis say, what a load of nonsense we’ve been talking, it’s all soft curd. The great commander of the IRGC is making groundwork for us. Tell him to come out of the bedroom before Trump arrives! Regarding the passing of Ayatollah Hashemi Shahroudi, I expressed my condolences to him. He said, 'Did you notice? He died in a drip irrigation style. He didn’t die suddenly; as the Armenians say, he died step by step. All the domestic and foreign media reported moment by moment. Israel Radio said he was dead but still breathing. BBC said he was under machines but not dying. Radio Farda said he was in a coma but dead. Voice of America said he wasn’t breathing but was alive. Our own state TV said he was joining the meeting with God. In the end, we didn’t understand if he was dead or still alive. (He laughed) At his funeral, he wasn’t even there... Now if Imam Khomeini were alive, he would say Shahroudi was a part of me, but I won’t tear my body for these people. He continued: 'Now he also says he was among the candidates for the leadership succession. Everyone wants to be the leader. We wanted a place, not a successor. Between us, Wahid, if any of them get the chance, they will push me into the pool. Just look at this Ejei, I’m afraid of him. When he comes to me, I think if he suddenly jumps and bites me, what will be left for me? What will the headlines be tomorrow? 'The spokesperson of the judiciary bit the Supreme Leader?' Now if they catch him, beat him, kill him, but that leader who has been bitten by someone will lose all his glory and power and dictatorship and tyranny... Trump will laugh so much. The Leader rubbed his shoulder (at the same spot where Ejei's teeth had left a mark on Isa Saharkhiz's shoulder) and changed the subject: 'Now if Shahroudi's history of illness in Germany and Iran had not been leaked and he had suddenly passed away, we could have said he died due to the pressures of sanctions. We could have called it 'Martyr of Sanctions,' what a commotion that would have caused. We would have embarrassed Trump, and an Ayatollah would have claimed from America. (After some calculation) With interest, it would have become Ayatollah al-Uzma. I said Fa'ezeh Hashemi said: 'Rohani's government is a failure.' He said, 'She has gone and found a word to confuse the people. They think if they bring a word from the Quran, their words are divine revelation. I asked what it means? He said, 'You seem to not have Google, Wahid. How long will you remain illiterate? Go search! ... Look, 'failure' has been defined in a thousand ways in Google or Goggle, but none of them mean 'clumsy.' It’s not in the Quran either because it has a 'ch.' This girl is right. You compare the number of executions now with the time I was president. Although the population has increased now. Of course, we still have many executions, but overall my opinion is closer to this girl’s than to the BBC's! I said archaeologists have discovered a military base of the Achaemenids in northern Israel. He said mockingly: 'Tomorrow Netanyahu will say this base was brought from Iran in a truck by Israeli agents... Imam Khomeini was right to say we must remove Israel from the geographical map. I said, but Mr. Zarif says Imam Khomeini never said such a thing. He said Zarif said that to mislead. You too, for now, keep your voice down so the issue doesn’t get leaked until we surprise them and remove them. If they catch a whiff of it, they will do something to not be removed. I said a cleric said, 'If necessary for the preservation of the regime, we will sacrifice the Imam of the Time for the Islamic Republic.' He said: 'He is wrong. Tell them to take him and throw him into the Jamkaran well; the Imam himself will settle the score with him.' ... Then he said, 'Tell them to strip him and throw him in.' I said an old Turkish artist has been tried because he said at the end of fascist governments, the leader is hanged by the feet. The Leader angrily said, 'He has gone too far with you!' ...