Sexual Harassment and the Taboo of Speaking About It

Sexual harassment in the workplace, in the streets, and even in the safety and secrecy of home; within the family institution. If you are someone who has experienced sexual harassment in childhood or adulthood, you have gone through something that is legally punishable in the Western world. If you have remained silent and suffered for years because of that silence, you are also facing the taboo of speaking about sexual harassment. This week's discussion with Asieh Amini, a women's rights activist, and Reza Kazemzadeh, a psychologist, revolves around this topic. I start this week's program with Ms. Amini by asking what behaviors we consider sexual harassment. On one hand, according to standard definitions seen in developed countries, sexual harassment can encompass a wide range of behaviors, and on the other hand, in some societies, even in Iran, we may hear that they do not accept anything less than rape as sexual harassment. Asieh Amini: Finding a common definition for a social concept that is heavily dependent on the social and cultural conditions of societies is not easy, and in my opinion, it may not even be useful. You mentioned a standard definition; this is correct as long as we have a specific goal for this definition. In my view, our definition of sexual harassment can be based on behaviors that cause discomfort and loss—this loss can be physical, sexual, or behavioral—on the part of the victim, and part of its content relates to sexual and gender concepts. Mr. Kazemzadeh, Ms. Amini talks about behaviors that cause discomfort or loss. This encompasses an ambiguous range of behaviors. How can this be specified for individuals? Reza Kazemzadeh: I believe the most important thing is education. That is, from the very beginning, our children should be taught what actions constitute sexual harassment, both when others perform them and when they want to do them in relation to another's body, so they can evaluate and understand it. Although socially, various definitions can be given, in society, as Ms. Amini said, because it causes loss, it should have a legal aspect. When we enter the legal aspect, then this relativity should disappear, and a clear and precise definition with a set of standards in law should be established to defend those who have been violated. But before returning to Ms. Amini, I want to ask you, as someone whose work is psychology, to clarify for our listeners what sexual harassment can do to those who have been subjected to it. What part of our psyche does sexual harassment deal with, and how can its effects remain in a person's psyche? Kazemzadeh: To assess the impact of sexual harassment, two factors must be considered. One is the act itself and its severity. This means considering whether the sexual harassment occurred in the street or, for example, in its extreme form, rape. But another part is the internal aspect and the experience of the victim, which depends on many factors. For example, it depends on age. Certain acts may have much less psychological impact when they occur with an adult than when they happen to a seven or eight-year-old child. Many sexual harassments have the potential to produce psychological trauma—especially if the age is low and the act's intensity and violence are present. Ultimately, this significantly reduces the self-confidence of these individuals in the long run. The feeling that arises in many victims, which must be dealt with, is that when the anger and violence towards the perpetrator cannot be expressed, it turns back on the individual, and they blame themselves for why they put themselves in a situation [for this to happen] and why they could not defend themselves. All of this can lead to severe depression and even suicidal tendencies in the individual. Ms. Amini, despite all these effects and the trauma that Mr. Kazemzadeh described that individuals experience, why is speaking about sexual harassment still a problem? How does society react to a woman who wants to say, for example, my employer sexually harassed me? Amini: To answer your question, we must line up a series of social issues that create such a chain reaction. For instance, you can only protest or even express something that has hurt you if you think that by expressing it, you will be heard. But if a series of deterrent factors make you fear the outcome of such a protest, you will not do it. Among these is the fact that in a society where sexual shame is praised, you can only speak about issues in your sexual relationships—whether familial, cultural, or personal—within a closed circle of personal relationships, and when it becomes public, you are severely condemned; you are not encouraged to protest even when you are a victim of a relationship. What kind of response does the law have to this protest and expression? A law that raises the issue of obedience, meaning that a woman must submit herself to her husband. A law that is backed by religious fatwas and teachings that praise women who submit themselves to their husbands without objection in any situation. We are talking about a part of society that has a religious cultural background, which, for example, reaches back to the fifth century AH with Imam Muhammad Ghazali, who considers women a form of slavery, and we see that this kind of thinking is not outdated; rather, many of our religious teachings today have roots in this thinking. When you have no hope of legal support, you do not protest. Nowhere in our law are you legally supported for having been subjected to sexual oppression and harassment. Whether in your familial relationships or with non-relatives, where you must prove it, which is another discussion. Ms. Amini, indeed, in Iran, sexual harassment or rape has not been criminalized, and issues that are crimes in many countries are not included in Iranian laws, such as sexual harassment in the workplace or marital rape and the points you mentioned. In this legal vacuum, it may be understood why women see no benefit in wanting to speak out. But at the same time, in this legal vacuum, in other cases, women do protest. Mr. Kazemzadeh, perhaps we should return to you: why do women remain silent and not speak about the suffering they have endured due to the legal vacuum that Ms. Amini rightly pointed out? Kazemzadeh: The issue of sexual harassment and sexual matters relates to something extremely private. In our society, private matters should never be brought up in public spaces, as it can lead to shame. Especially if what happened not only humiliates the individual but also humiliates their social groups. What put the victim, for example, in the center of attention in the West, which is not long ago and relates to after World War II, was the emergence of the concept of the victim in public space, which was a result of the legal definition of this issue and, on the other hand, when the individual was given importance regarding the consequences this issue can produce for them, the life story of this individual became significant, gradually allowing society to become a place for defining and discussing private issues without the individual feeling shame and humiliation. This is not inherently natural; it requires effort and construction, especially in our culture, which is more of a culture of shame. The culture of shame is one where the gaze of the other plays a very determining role in how I feel within and the issues I can raise in society. Do various institutions and spaces where this sexual harassment occurs also exacerbate this silence? For example, sexual harassment within the family has an even greater taboo aspect. Individuals who experience sexual harassment in the family are often invited to silence by an unwritten law. There are even statistics showing that this does not occur infrequently within families. Kazemzadeh: Certainly. Essentially, the family, the esteemed position of parents regarding issues like child abuse and sexual harassment, and even the phenomenon of intimacy is a significant taboo in our society. While I can tell you that to the extent I have worked with my Iranian clients, the rate of sexual harassment within Iranian families is not only not less than in European societies but is even more. I have dealt with many clients. But there is a kind of collective silence. That is, starting from immediate family members. Sometimes even mothers turn a blind eye to the issue. From relatives and those who interact with this child at school and the doctor they visit; I have seen that, not necessarily in a fully conscious manner, everyone collaborates to ignore a series of problems and issues in our society. You know that over eighty percent of child sexual abuse is committed by close relatives in all countries. On the other hand, Ms. Amini, other powerful institutions that may differ in various societies, for example, recently in the U.S., we had the Hollywood sexual scandal that received much attention and even led to campaigns for women to break their silence and speak about the sexual harassment they have experienced. In Iran, there are also powerful institutions; for instance, there were cases like the student deputy of Zanjan University or the head of the prayer committee in Toyserkan. Can these powerful institutions use their power and reproduce sexual harassment? Amini: We live in an era where social transformations are rapidly reshaping not only in Iranian society but also in Western societies. In Western societies, it has not been long since we did not consider the victim of an unequal sexual relationship to be victimized again due to their silence. Once they were victimized by the conditions of harassment, and once they were victimized by the cruelty of society, because society blames the victim for what happened. I think what is happening now and many are talking about and revealing secrets they have hidden in their minds is partly a product of this transformation and change in social attitudes and values. That is, if you were once met with societal anger while being a victim, today you are praised for being viewed as courageous. Another aspect related to your question, which I think plays a direct role in the occurrence of these value changes, is educational institutions. How proactive are schools and educational institutions and those that produce culture and actually create social transformations in educating from a young age that no one but you has the right to choose and own your body; not even your closest family members. Perhaps ten or fifteen years ago in Iran, if you remember, women's blogs created a revolution in expressing issues and behaviors that were previously taboo. Technology, the internet, and global social transformations have a significant impact, and we hope that one day Iran's educational institutions will also seriously address this issue. Mr. Kazemzadeh, I want to ask a question here that focuses on another aspect of this topic. After all, the perpetrator may sometimes not even know they are committing sexual harassment. Is this ignorance only about the one who experiences sexual harassment and, as Ms. Amini said, needs to be educated? Does this ignorance not also apply to the one who is committing sexual harassment? Sometimes an ordinary or good person may be unaware and may behave inappropriately. Do you consider a share in this issue that the individual may not know they are harassing or that they themselves may also be a kind of victim? I want to talk a bit about sexual harassers. Kazemzadeh: In my opinion, the perspective of the perpetrator is effective, and that is why the issue of education and discussing these matters in public media and opening up its dimensions is very important. Regarding the child abuse we discussed, in the West, significant sensitivity has been created since the 1980s. When Freud first linked hysteria to childhood sexual abuse in the early twentieth century, even the scientific community in Austria reacted so strongly to Freud that he had to retract his theory. Therefore, cultural work, dialogue about issues, and changing these concepts at a general level are very important. However, another group of individuals is that the issue of sexual harassment is not only about education but also relates to their history and past. In many cases, what is common and you have certainly heard a lot is that some of these individuals are those who have experienced this violence in childhood. However, in general, psychological research shows that the more determining factor than sexual harassment is the issue of violence. Within the family framework or during a period when the individual was still young and dependent on others, family violence, physical abuse, even verbal violence, has been trivialized, and the idea that one can use violence as a tool in relation to another to achieve certain desires has been normalized. Because sometimes, sexual harassment plays a role as a tool.