The Pistachio Ban During the New Year Greetings with the Leader

In the week leading up to Nowruz, individuals whose names were mentioned for congratulating the Leader were gradually arriving, with the distinguished ones being candidates for the Leader's handshakes. The Leader had instructed that nuts be categorized. Ministers, members of parliament, and military officials each had their own level of snacks. Most parliament members had sunflower seeds, while military commanders had almonds and hazelnuts, and clergy who were fortunate enough to attend were permitted to dig into the nut bowl and extract almond and pistachio kernels. The Leader had removed pistachios due to his simple lifestyle. Perhaps he did not want to be reminded of Akbar during the holiday. The overturning of one of the pistachio trucks heading to Syria and Iraq had also upset the Leader, although the local people enjoyed it. It was reported that for several kilometers, villagers had cleaned the road with buckets, bags, and pots, generously rewarding the driver, and they planned to hold a ceremony in his honor that week. The Nowruz greeting ceremony with the Leader was such that people were busy munching in the hall. When the Leader entered, I would announce, and everyone would stand up except for Mr. Jannati, who would sink deeper into himself and the sofa, with only a hand visible, rummaging through the nut bowl, accompanied by muffled sounds of munching and snoring. This hand also prevented anyone from accidentally sitting on Mr. Jannati while looking for an empty sofa. The Leader's approach and reception of the attendees had four levels: cheerful, casual, formal, and miscellaneous. The miscellaneous ones, who had no right to approach within two meters, were mostly from parliament, up to Dr. Velayati, with whom the Leader jokes, usually teasing him at the end of the ceremony by poking his chin and saying, 'How are you, shameless?' I would separate the bowing attendees and instruct those who should stand straight in front of the Leader and those who should remain bent until the end of the ceremony. I noticed that unlike the gentlemen who were counting seconds for the Leader's arrival from the adjacent room, some clerics and students did not want the Leader to come soon so they could survey the sweets, nuts, and fruits on the table. I had assigned two representatives from the tribes and nomads to ensure that no cleric would pocket anything. Upon witnessing such imminent scenes, they would cough loudly, which served as an alarm, dissuading the person from continuing their aggressive operation. Dr. Velayati was present almost every day of the Nowruz greetings. Two or three doctors who monitored the Leader's heart were always lurking nearby in the crowd, disguised as shopkeepers, and at the right moment, one would sneak a hand under the Leader's robe to check the heart device. Usually, when the second one attempted this, the Leader would get angry and push him away. After the funeral prayer, where the Leader read a prayer for Rafsanjani's coffin, the above scene occurred. The Leader was worried for several days that this incident might have been broadcast on television, and the device might have been compromised, potentially allowing enemies to hack it and disable the Leader's heart. Therefore, the next day, he called the secret doctors, and after a quarrel, practiced with them for future events. In one of the Nowruz meetings, after everyone left, Dr. Velayati remained behind and, after the Leader's 'How are you, shameless?' remarked that he was tired of idleness and wanted a job, just for Nowruz. The Leader replied, 'Isn't thirty-seven enough?' He responded that there was no variety and he wanted a proper job. The Leader sat down, put a finger of samanu in his mouth, and said, 'This Haft-Seen tradition is one of those silly things. I don’t understand its meaning. The Ahl al-Bayt said it was for the grandchildren.' Then he took another finger of samanu, offered the bowl to Dr. Velayati, and said, 'Eat, it's delicious!' Dr. Velayati took a dried fruit, twisted it in the samanu, put it in his mouth, licked his fingers, and asked, 'Do you have any job leads?' The Leader leaned back, thought for a moment, and said, 'A cleric was recently defrocked, showing some stubbornness. It was reported in the news that he was resisting and wouldn’t take off his clothes.' Dr. Velayati said, 'Hassan Aghamiri.' The Leader continued, 'I saw on the internet that those Sadat Ashkouri also wrote about his defrocking, that he was also resisting. He said he was wearing underpants... Dr. Velayati said, 'Yes, I read it. In the end, he called his wife to send him pants from home.' The Leader said, 'Doctor, why are you speaking like this? Your voice has changed.' Dr. Velayati took the pit from his mouth and threw it into the fishbowl, saying, 'Sorry.' The Leader, with his usual humor, said, 'Now the fish's voice changes!' The Leader continued: 'I was thinking, if after this, a cleric resists more during defrocking and does not comply, what remains for us? What will the enemy say? What will the enemy's newspapers headline: 'Defrocked cleric refused to take off his clothes!' It would become an international scandal. Dr. Velayati was curious about what conclusion the Leader was trying to draw. The Leader said: 'Doctor, you come up with an organization that at such times, with a phone call, they can go and take off the person's pants, wrap them in the turban and robe, and bring them to you. This is a new job! I, the standard-bearer, had the audacity to ask, 'Your Excellency, how many clerics are supposed to be defrocked in the future?' He replied, 'God knows. Once it starts, it's unclear how many. We must prevent it from now on. One cannot rely on clerics.' Dr. Velayati foolishly said, 'No offense to you!' The Leader frowned angrily. Velayati realized what he had done wrong. Out of frustration, he twisted another dried fruit in the samanu and put it in his mouth. The Leader addressed me: 'Look, standard-bearer. Mohammad Reza Shah paid so much to the clerics, gave them salaries, honored them, and in the end, they brought him down. During the Shah's time, if a cleric committed a wrongdoing, usually involving a woman or a child, the newspapers would call him a 'pseudo-cleric.' Clerics had respect. When the king traveled abroad, he would inform the Friday prayer leader to pray at the airport for the plane's safety. He was also superstitious. He had religious beliefs. Poor man did not know that one cannot trust clerics. The Leader angrily said: 'Clerics who want to act up must be defrocked, whether one or a thousand. That is, a cleric who wants to act too smart, post too much on Instagram, criticize, or stage a clerical coup, has undermined the clergy. It's still respectful now. In the future, we will force a defrocked cleric to strip in front of the crowd. He said: 'In the past, defrocking was done in a way that the cleric wouldn’t catch cold. (The Leader laughed) From the late Shariati to Ahmad Montazeri and Khatami and Kadivar reached the final poison. Kadivar himself was too shy to strip. We told these people that while spreading superstitions and miracles of the Imams, sometimes they should also attack the government as a pressure valve. Some of them got carried away and started to go full throttle. In other words, insulting the sacred. Gradually, insulting the leadership was also becoming common. People liked it, and they got carried away. I warned them, cut off their salaries, banned them from preaching, and for now, imprisonment and solitary confinement and defrocking remain, and execution will hopefully be collective in the next regime under the supervision of John Bolton and Pompeo. (The Leader laughed heartily.) Dr. Velayati did not laugh. It seemed he was mentally searching for a verse from Hafez to extract from the Leader's heart but couldn't remember. The Leader said: 'The situation is sensitive now. When a cleric returns, the Basij will say, 'Why shouldn't I return?' The police will say, 'Why shouldn't I return?' That general... But now broadcasting the news has its own effect. Newspapers will headline: 'The Supreme Leader appointed Dr. Velayati as the head of the task force for defrocking clerics.' Dr. Velayati showed no external reaction, but I don't know if it was from fear or excitement, but I felt he swallowed the pit.