What Do Women Know About Their 'Sexual Organs'?

How much can understanding sexual organs change our health and sexual life? In a culture that is often closed and silent about discussing the body and sexuality, fewer people may even ask themselves this question. The question 'What do you know about your sexual organs?' is one of those questions we fear to ask. This question becomes even more sensitive and taboo when it comes to women. Dr. Maryam Mohibi, a sexologist in Canada, says many women have never even seen their sexual organs, let alone have knowledge about their functions and components. Our other guest this week is Zeynab Payghamzadeh, a graduate of 'Gender Studies' from Sweden, who says knowing the body is one way to respect oneself. It might be good to start with the question of what the importance of knowing sexual organs, especially in women, is. How important is it for women to know their sexual organs in terms of personal health and successful sexual life? Dr. Mohibi, let's start the discussion with you. Maryam Mohibi: The sexual organ, like other organs in the body, which our understanding helps us know their functions, is certainly one of the organs that everyone should know what their reproductive system does. Additionally, when we gain information about the reproductive system, if that organ has a problem, defect, or disease, we can better address it and take therapeutic actions. A very important function of the reproductive system is in the area of reproduction and childbirth, which is extremely significant. Another aspect is the issue of sexual relationships and sexual pleasure, which constitutes an important part of each individual's sexual health. Furthermore, I can add that when we encounter issues regarding sexual assaults or trauma in the sexual organs—here, our discussion is specifically about women—and we say that sexual organs include breasts and then the reproductive system. Knowing what types of assaults and in what forms can occur in sexual organs can certainly help in preventing assaults or taking therapeutic action if necessary. Now that we are at the beginning of the discussion, let's go to our other guest, Ms. Payghamzadeh, and I would like to ask you, Ms. Payghamzadeh, that there is a very broad discussion about what names and terms should be used for sexual organs—especially those attributed to women. We see that in many places and in many cultures, including Iranian culture, there is a reluctance to mention sexual organs. Even naming conventions are created in families for discussing sexual organs—if any discussion occurs at all. What explanation can you provide regarding this? Zeynab Payghamzadeh: Yes, you pointed to a very important issue. This problem exists in various languages. Especially in Persian, where there has been much less discussion about the bodies of women and men and sexuality in general, this issue is more pronounced. I think one important topic that is being discussed a lot is that we should not refer to sexual organs with the term 'reproductive,' because reproduction is only one of the functions of these organs, and some parts of these organs that we are discussing do not play a role in reproduction. It is good for us to refer to them as sexual organs because not everyone wants to reproduce through these organs. We attribute these organs to women or men, and this does not mean that everyone who identifies as a woman has the sexual organs attributed to women in society or vice versa for men. Therefore, I think it is important to emphasize that the shape of an individual's sexual organ does not necessarily define their gender identity. It is important that a term is used that is understandable for all individuals and that children become familiar with these terms from an early age. Ms. Payghamzadeh, another point I want to ask you about is the shape of sexual organs. Different cultures have different preferences regarding this. Some even accept that it is correct for sexual organs to have a specific shape and standard, and all bodies should have that shape. Is this true? We even know that there are surgeries that individuals undergo to standardize female sexual organs. Payghamzadeh: Regarding the perspective on the shape of sexual organs in different cultures, this perspective, like anything else, has changed throughout history. For example, in ancient Greece, a smaller male sexual organ was considered better and indicative of a civilized person, while a larger sexual organ was seen as a sign of savagery. But we see that now, as a result of the porn industry, men are concerned about the size of their sexual organs. There are many different surgeries and medications available that, for example, aim to enlarge male sexual organs. Similarly, this perspective exists regarding female sexual organs, and again, in the porn industry, there is an effort to standardize female sexual organs, and various cosmetic surgeries are performed that actually remove and reduce parts of the sexual organ and its small labia, altering their shape. There are various medications that claim to improve the shape of sexual organs. A vast industry has emerged around controlling sexual organs and bodies, especially those attributed to women. Control over sexual organs also exists for transgender and intersex individuals, meaning intersex individuals may undergo surgeries from birth that they cannot consent to as children, and on the other hand, transgender individuals, if they want to live with a gender identity they feel attached to, in most countries, must undergo surgeries that can eliminate their sexual pleasure. Dr. Mohibi mentioned, and it was also in my question, about the surgeries performed to present a standard shape of sexual organs, whether attributed to women or men. My question is, as someone who works in sexology, what answer can you provide to this question? Should there be a specific shape of sexual organs? Mohibi: The reality is that the reproductive system, like other organs in the body, varies in shape. It is a fact that not all women's reproductive systems have the same shape, but the issue is that the porn industry is defining an ideal of female reproductive systems that is hairless or has this shape, with surgeries performed on them [which causes] women to compare their reproductive systems with their own and feel that they are very ugly or not ideal. Or men who see the reproductive organs of porn stars and compare them with their partners. An interesting study by Zakerman shows that women who face this weakness in their self-image regarding their organ, when they enter sexual relationships, do not have the necessary presence and awareness and their sexual confidence decreases. Dr. Mohibi, now that you have mentioned these points, I must also ask whether the shape of the sexual organ you mentioned varies from one individual to another, and can it have a direct relationship with sexual pleasure? Mohibi: It is not necessarily the case. Every individual, regardless of the shape of their reproductive system or sexual organ, can achieve sexual satisfaction. However, the skills and information that each individual must have to discover their sexual arousal [are important]. The amount of touch that each part of this organ should receive, in what manner and for how long, in which section, is something each individual should be able to find out before they enter into a mutual relationship. Usually, the cultural inhibitions we have label this as masturbation, and this is seen as a bad thing, and a good woman and girl never looks at or touches that part and is not supposed to know what it consists of, and this exploration usually does not occur. When the individual enters into a sexual relationship with their partner, they must discover it for the first time, and this is where the problem begins that most women face. And Ms. Payghamzadeh, I return to you on this topic. Do you think our perception of our sexual organs can affect the quality of our sexual life? Payghamzadeh: Yes, definitely the way we view our bodies, especially our sexual organs, has a significant impact on our lives and the pleasure we can derive from our lives. Various studies show this. Individuals with low self-esteem and who are dissatisfied with their sexual organs cannot experience sexual pleasure as they should. We have a sexual education program called Avishan. Most of the questions we receive are related to these concerns that individuals have about their sexual organs. They think they cannot experience sexual pleasure and reach orgasm because they need to change something in their own body or their partner's body, and they do not realize how different these sexual organs can be. Or they think they must have a long sexual encounter that involves penetration, while as many of us know, what we see in porn is actually created with special effects, and if an individual, for example, has half an hour of vaginal penetration in a porn film, it does not necessarily mean that everyone can experience such a thing in real life. It does not mean that longer penetration leads to greater sexual pleasure. Before we move out of this part of the discussion, let's also look at gynecologists. Many say that even their doctors suggest procedures like 'bleaching' or surgery on the edges of sexual organs. Doctors themselves recommend these to their patients, and women report this. How medically correct is this behavior? It might be good to mention here that if our listeners encounter such a case, they should know what reaction they should have. Mohibi: Specialists involved in this area have the duty to address any problems or issues that exist. If that sexual organ, given its characteristics, causes the individual to have problems in their sexual life regarding sexual satisfaction and being able to have a normal sexual relationship, they should roll up their sleeves and do something. However, when everything is in place and the individual has their sexual agency, the final decision rests with the individual. The doctor does what the individual wants, but usually, doctors, especially outside of Iran, refer the individual to a counselor as much as possible unless the issue is urgent or has created a limitation. Go talk to someone. This 'body image' that you think will create satisfaction by fixing and changing it will not [work]. If you are not satisfied in your relationship and cannot achieve sexual satisfaction, the problem lies elsewhere. If your partner is criticizing you, the problem lies elsewhere. Altering this part does not guarantee that you will experience a good and problem-free sexual life from now on. Ms. Payghamzadeh, can we generally say that men mostly talk more about sexual organs and sexual life in general and perhaps even have more awareness? Payghamzadeh: Yes, various studies conducted in different countries show that most individuals, whether women or men, have less information about female sexual organs. Part of this goes back to the fact that female sexual organs are more complex and have various parts that are not all visible from the outside. Another part, as we discussed earlier, relates to the focus on male sexual organs. There are various terms to describe male sexual organs, and the pride associated with having a boy born with this sexual organ leads us to learn more about male sexual organs, regardless of our gender. However, on the other hand, the problem it creates is that it puts a lot of pressure on men that if they do not have a large sexual organ or cannot perform long penetrative sex, they are not man enough. Dr. Mohibi, you may have experiences regarding those who come to you and share their issues. Do more men come to you with such problems or women? Mohibi: As our dear guest pointed out, regarding male reproductive organs, due to their visibility and because of hygiene practices, boys become aware of this organ easily from childhood and become familiar with it, and at an older age, they experience sexual arousal more through touching it, but the male reproductive organ, due to its anatomical format, is somewhat more hidden.