Women's Resilience Plan: Enduring a Turbulent Family or Managing Life After Divorce?

By the end of October this year, over 102,000 divorces have been registered in Iran. According to Iranian news agencies and the spokesperson of the Civil Registration Organization, the average age of marriage has risen again, reaching 28.8 for men and 27.7 for women in Tehran. Simultaneously, a new initiative related to divorce is being implemented in 14 provinces of the country, aimed at increasing the social resilience of women. As the Director General of Women's Affairs and Family in Kurdistan stated to the IRNA news agency, this plan aims to enhance women's ability to cope with challenges and improve their mental health. This initiative, which was launched in 2017 nationwide, primarily addresses the rising divorce rates and their consequences. But what does resilience mean for women? Mahbubeh Abasgholi Zadeh, a women's rights activist, states: "In today's world, resilience is a negative term, but traditionally it is seen positively as a quality of a good woman who is recognized for her endurance and patience in traditional values." However, resilience can also be considered an important ability or skill in personal and social life. One definition of resilience is that individuals, families, communities, climates, systems, and organizations must be able to overcome challenges, navigate obstacles, and recover from potential damages to achieve their goals. A concise definition of resilience could be the exertion of energy aimed at improving conditions. Mahbubeh Abasgholi Zadeh explains: "[Resilience] relates to increasing the threshold of tolerance and self-care against the damages that single mothers face in daily life or for women on the brink of divorce who experience severe stress, which prevents them from managing their lives effectively and making sound decisions in the face of violence from their spouses or pressure from their families." However, where and under what conditions is this increased tolerance and resilience applied in the family-oriented programs of Iranian government centers that aim to preserve and strengthen the family? In the family institution? In a troubled and damaged family, or after separation, or for single mothers facing numerous challenges? Hossein Ghazian, a sociologist, states: "The concept of resilience originates from mechanics and refers to the ability of individuals or communities not only to withstand external pressures but also to return to previous conditions and ultimately elevate themselves to a better state. This can occur within the family or outside of it after the family has disintegrated. If we want to address this within the family, it implies a concept of resistance and endurance, which would be negative. This means that people must endure and suffer, and according to this notion, women should come in white clothes and leave in white clothes, as if they are the only ones who must endure this situation, and we want them to be resilient in this situation." According to the head of the family court, addiction is the primary and most significant factor contributing to the rise in divorces among Iranian families. He also mentioned unemployment, social media, inappropriate family interventions, lack of adequate pre-marital knowledge, drifting away from moral values, and irresponsibility as other reasons for divorce in Iran. He stated that out of every ten divorce cases, six to seven are due to addiction, with poverty and unemployment being the second leading cause. Does this high rate of divorce turn it into a social harm or categorize it among the consequences of issues like addiction and unemployment? Mahbubeh Abasgholi Zadeh does not find the approach that views divorce as a social harm effective: "The Family Affairs Center views divorce as a harm, while many women's activists and sociologists believe that divorce is more of a phenomenon than a harm. With the modernization of families, the rise in women's self-confidence, increased standards of education and living, and changes in lifestyle, women do not want to endure the narrow confines of traditional and even Islamic frameworks, which is why they resort to divorce as a solution. Therefore, this is a social phenomenon, and in my opinion, the perspective taken on it combines it with pathology rather than viewing it as a social phenomenon, and because it is approached from a pathological perspective, it makes a significant mistake by not systematically recognizing that part of divorce may be related to increasing women's tolerance levels under psychological pressure, but there are many other aspects in society that, if we proceed without understanding them, we may completely err." However, Hossein Ghazian represents a different viewpoint, stating: "It seems that this plan acknowledges the reality that despite all the efforts made by the Islamic Republic and the religious condemnation surrounding divorce, it is nonetheless a reality that occurs and has grown over the years, and now we must see how to deal with the phenomenon after divorce. If our focus is on women, we need to understand what their situation will be after divorce and how they can endure and return to pre-divorce conditions and elevate themselves. If this is the case, it shows a positive and supportive aspect for women, contrary to the initial form that may require women to endure and remain in the family without seeking divorce. This second plan accepts the reality and aims to bring ideas on how to confront the issues and challenges that arise after divorce." This sociologist also believes that if the goals of the new divorce-related plan at the Women's and Family Affairs Center focus on increasing women's resilience after separation and divorce, its implementation could pave the way for the acceptance and enhancement of the status of families that stand outside the official definitions of family: "If this thought progresses from initial supportive ideas to institutionalization and procedural development, then we can say that sufficient structural facilities have been provided in society to accept new forms of family because the institutional mechanisms of family have been arranged in such a way that family is defined as a woman, husband, and a number of children, but we know that there are other types of families. Families with single parents, families that may sometimes be without parents, families that may sometimes have same-sex parents, and various types of families that do not operate according to conventional marriage. If we consider all of these as families and take them into account in this specific discussion, then if this plan moves towards institutional arrangements to support such families, it would represent a progress and a step forward in acknowledging the existing realities of society and aligning us with what is happening and how people want to live." This is not the only effort by the Women's and Family Affairs Center of the Presidential Office to reduce divorce, increase marriage, and preserve the family institution in Iran. Almost all official and governmental institutions in the country have designed and implemented similar programs with comparable objectives. The Social Affairs Department of the Welfare Organization is one of them, which has announced the launch of a divorce software system in 11 provinces with the highest divorce rates. This system is intended to carry out and document all counseling, psychological, social work, and legal interventions for couples seeking divorce while maintaining confidentiality. According to the report from the Marriage and Family Enhancement Office of the Ministry of Sports and Youth, Tehran and Alborz provinces have the highest divorce rates in Iran, followed by Qom, Gilan, and Mazandaran. This data has raised concerns among social and cultural policymakers.